The Other Side of the Fence

Chapter One

For the sixth time in ten minutes, Eddie made sure that the safety was off on his gun then he leaned back on the comfy sofa. Sinking back into the pillows, he thought, this is nice…we should interrogate everyone in a cozy apartment. No more meat lockers. No more going to the docks at 3:00 am. Just cozy apartments with comfortable chairs and one of these things, thought Eddie, poking at the tiny coffee table room deodorizer in the shape of a small plastic doggie. Whenever Eddie pressed the little dog’s nose, a fine mist of perfumed air puffed out of…
Just then Eddie heard a noise at the front door. Was it Ralph? Back with the donuts already? No it was definitely a key in the lock. Alright, thought Eddie smiling, torture time. Training his gun on the door, Eddie watched as it swung slowly inward.
The gun sights were zeroed in on her head as soon as she appeared with two overloaded grocery bags in each hand and her mail clenched between her teeth. Levelling the gun at her head and tracking her progress as she made her way across the living room to the kitchen, Eddie held his breath, anticipating the moment when he would be able to scare another pretty lady to death. And this one was certainly pretty enough. Tall, slim, long auburn hair, a cute button nose.
Any second now, thought Eddie as he watched her profile, slowly turning his upper body so that his gun sights never left her face. Any second now she’ll sense that something is wrong and she’ll look over and see me…her Fate. Eddie grinned so widely he exposed both his gold tooth and the rotting black one right next to it.
Then a millisecond later, she turned the corner and disappeared into the kitchen leaving Eddie’s mouth to gape open with surprise. Throwing his hands up in the air, Eddie shook his head with exasperation as he listened to the sounds of grocery bags being dumped on the kitchen counter with a heavy thud.
Faintly he heard her say, “Bills, bills, bills” then the sound of paper hitting wood as he watched the mail slide across the kitchen table which was in clear sight from his position on the couch.
When the sound of plastic bags crinkling reached his ears, Eddie sighed and lowered his arms back down to his side. This was not turning out how he had planned. It was going to be so perfect. He was going to be able to scare the crap out of her, make her beg and plead for her life and all the while he would be comfortably sitting on the couch. This one was going to be easy. Fun almost. But something always went wrong.
“The story of my life.” Eddie muttered as he snatched the little plastic doggie off the table top and shoved it in his pocket then wearily pushed his bulky frame up off the couch.
Walking toward the kitchen, Eddie froze to the spot when a floorboard creaked under his large frame. Holding his breath, Eddie listened intently but breathed a sigh of relief as the plastic bags continued to crinkle. The woman was still intent on unloading groceries.
Continuing on, using his tippy toes, Eddie raised his gun anticipating what to do next.
I’ll jump into the room and yell, “Freeze!” No too coppy, thought Eddie. I know, I’ll clear my throat and when she sees me, I’ll grin, just like in that movie. No, she’s making too much noise with those bloody grocery bags.
Suddenly Eddie stopped in his tracks as the perfect plan came to him. He smiled and raised his gun.
Stepping into the kitchen, Eddie asked “How you doing?” as he tried to aim the gun at the woman’s head.
Aiming however was more difficult than he had planned because something was obscuring his vision. In the two seconds that it took to realize that the obstruction was a can of peaches hurtling in his direction, they had already reached his face and put a dent in his skull. Eddie noticed the pretty pink kitchen curtains just before everything went black.

Chapter Two

The next thing that Eddie noticed was the cold. For a minute he thought he was back in the meat locker. But the meat locker had never so bright and clean and white, with sunlight shining all around him.
Blinking, Eddie tried to focus his eyes but he was having difficulty doing that. When he thought about rubbing his eyes with his hands he found he couldn’t pull his arms around to the front of his body anymore.
Anger and frustration welled up inside Eddie so of course he yelled, “What the fuc…!”
“Watch your language!” said a stern voice standing above him and to the right.
“Who the hell are you?” Eddie demanded.
“I would have thought you would have known that. Who are you? And what do you want?”
“Listen lady you got this all wrong…”
“Of course, how could I have misinterpreted a stranger with a gun in my apartment. Clearly it was all just my misunderstanding.”
“Yeah that’s right.” Said Eddie as he tried to see where the voice was coming from but for the life of him all he could see was fuzzy shapes and hazy globes of different coloured lights.
“Who are you? What do you want?”
“Listen lady, I’ll tell you everything but you have to get me to a doctor first. There is something wrong with my eyes. I think you blinded me.”
“You’re not blind. You have saran wrap wrapped around your head.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Now tell me who you are.”
“I’m not telling you nothing, you bitch. Now get me out of this.” Said Eddie, struggling against the rope that kept him tied to the radiator.
“I should also mention that I have boiled a big kettle of water and if you try to break free, I’ll pour it on you.”
“Fuck you.” Said Eddie trying to get to his feet.
Suddenly searing pain coursed through his body as the boiling hot liquid soaked into his pant leg along the right calf.
“Oh god, are you serious?” asked Eddie, tears welling up in his eyes, which only made him more angry.
“Who are you? What do you want?”
“I’ll tell you…” said Eddie, who then with a violent wrenching of his body attempted to free himself. Metal creaked as the radiator held but the wall made a groaning sound as the stud framing indicated it might be inclined to give up the ghost at some point in the future.
Boiling water landed on Eddie’s knee and started to head up his leg at a rapid rate.
“Not the boys!! Not the boys!! Okay. Okay. I’ll tell you everything you want to know. Just put the water down. Okay?”
“Who are you?”
“Put the water down and I’ll tell you everything. Okay?” said Eddie frantically trying to position his leg so as to lessen the impact of boiling water on his family jewels.
“I’m Eddie…geez don’t you have any cold water?”
Squirming in his seat, Eddie cursed as he felt the boiling hot liquid start to soak into his boxers.
But then suddenly Eddie remembered something and it brought a smile to his lips.
Ralph was due back here any minute with the donuts and judging by the creaking of the same floorboard out in the living room, Eddie knew Ralph was almost to the kitchen.
This time Eddie didn’t see the can of peaches that hit him on the head.