The Other SIde of the Fence

Chapter Eight


“Oh Stanley baby, I wuv you.”
“No I wuv you.”
“No I wuv you. You know no one has stood up for me like the way that you stood up for me today,” said Nicole.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah…You’re my hero! My big strong manly man.”
“Well that’s just the beginning baby. I’d walk through fire for you. I’d slay a dragon for you.”
“Oh baby.” said Nicole as she snuggled in closer to Stan on the leather chair and kissed him passionately.
“Oh this explains it.” said Ralph, pressing his gun into Stan’s temple.
Both Nicole and Stan screamed at the sudden realization that a stranger was standing right next to them and then they screamed again when they saw the gun Ralph was holding against Stan’s head.
“Now why you want to be doggin’ around when you got a fine woman sitting at home. What is wrong with you?”
“Who?” said Stan, still discombobulated by the sudden change in scenery.
“Vivian! Say it with me. Vi..vi..an. Your girlfriend. A feisty girl. A real firecracker. I like that. And you throw it away on a…a…” said Ralph, looking with distaste at the woman sitting on Stan’s lap.
“Hey!” said Nicole, offended, “Stan are you going to let him talk to me like that?”
“Nicole…he has a gun pointed at my head.”
“Yeah but you said…”
“Nicole! Not now!”
“Stanley if you don’t…”
“Oh shut up!” said Ralph, hitting Nicole with the butt of his gun, knocking her out cold.
“All that whining…I can’t take it anymore.” said Ralph, dragging Nicole’s unconscious body off of the leather chair and throwing her underneath the desk.
“Now stand up!” said Ralph, pointing the gun at the terrified Stan who quickly complied.
“And do your pants up! What is wrong with you? You need to have your head examined. Having a fine woman at home.”
“Is that what this is about? Did Vivian send you? Because I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was going to tell her. Honest.”
“Shut up!”
Clamping his mouth shut, Stan threw his arms up to protect his head from the blow he expected any second.
“Go to the window.”
“What?” Stan whimpered from behind his hands.
“Just do it!”
Without another word, Stan hurried to the window.
“You see the Palomino out there? Red?”
Stan nodded mutely.
“You see the guy sitting in the passenger side?”
Another weak nod as tears started to stream down his face.
“That is going to be the last face you ever see if you don’t do what’s right. And that guy…he’s not just a killer. No he really enjoys his work. You want to know what his speciality is? Burying people alive.”
A sob escaped from Stan’s lips as he couldn’t control himself any longer.
“What is it? What do you want? Money? There’s money in the safe. Not a lot! But some.”
“C’mon Stan. Cut the crap! You know why I’m here.”
“No! No I don’t! Really I don’t!”
“The diamonds Stanley. The pearls. Testorelli does not like being robbed.”
“Robbed? Well how in hell would I end up with them?”
“Oh, “ said Ralph, looking very disappointed, “It’s going to be like that, is it?”
“Like what? Listen man you got the wrong guy.”
Before he could finish, Ralph slammed the gun into the side of Stan’s head.
“Stop! Please stop!”
Another blow to the head.
“I’m an accountant! I didn’t steal anything!”
Bam!!
“Okay I did take some money from old lady Billings but she’s ninety eight years old. She doesn’t need the money.”
“This is going to be a long night.” said Ralph wearily as he rolled up his shirt sleeves.
Stan started to weep some more.

The Other Side of the Fence

Chapter seven


“Okay…so here’s the plan,” said Ralph, propping Eddie up against the car while he unlocked the passenger door, “You just have to sit in the car and look menacing.”
Raising an eyebrow, Eddie said, ”Whaghtz?”
“What? It’s a good plan because let’s face it Eddie you don’t look like you’ve been beaned in the head with a can of peaches.”
“Twoohhgh!” said Eddie, trying to raise his hand.
“What?” said Ralph, but then impatiently continued before Eddie could try again, “There really isn’t a mark on you.”
Examining Eddie’s bald scalp again, Ralph could not find a cut, a bruise, a goose egg, nothing. Just the normal assortment of scars that he had picked up in bar fights and street brawls but beyond that, nothing new.
“If the boss finds out we’ll never live it down. Letting the girlfriend get the better of us. Geez if the girlfriend is this tough…can you imagine what the boyfriend will be like? I’m going to need some serious firepower and I just happen to have the perfect thing in the glove compartment. Okay Eddie come on. In we go.” said Ralph as he helped Eddie into the passenger seat.
“AAAhhh!!!” said Eddie, unable to control a yell as his scalded legs hit the car seat.
“I know it hurts but it’s just for a little longer Eddie. You just sit in the car and look lethal…I’ll do the rest. Me and little Lolita,” said Ralph, as he opened the glove compartment and pulled out the biggest gun that Eddie had ever seen.
“Yeayawew!” said Eddie, trying to smile.

The Other Side of the Fence

Chapter Six

Ralph held his breath, the hand holding the scissors hesitating when he heard the sound of the answering machine burst into life in the silence of the apartment.
“Hello. Leave a message and I will get back to you!” the familiar and happy voice of Vivian Fraser rang out on the answering machine.
After the beep however, Vivian’s much angrier voice continued on, “If you two bums are still in my apartment…you’ll be able to find Stan at the Ventura building on Main street. Fifth floor. ‘Account on us’.”
The sound of the receiver being slammed down made Ralph shake his head.
“That’s one angry woman,” Ralph muttered, resuming his task of cutting the saran wrap off Eddie’s head, “a lot of anger in that tiny little body. It’s not healthy.”
“Unghhe.” Said Eddie, in full agreement but still unable to talk clearly as of yet.

The Other Side of the Fence

Chapter Five


“They’re the ones you like.” Nicole chimed.
Lifting up her miniskirt, Nicole revealed the heart shapes on the low rise bikini briefs underneath her skirt. She was right. He loved those ones, especially the way they hugged her nice firm butt. Putting his hands around her waist, he pulled her down onto his lap.
“Oh Stan.” She whispered as she moved around on his lap in the big leather chair.
“What in the hell is going on around here?” demanded Vivian.
Stan and Nicole both jumped at the sudden appearance of Vivian although Nicole managed to recover from her shock quite quickly and put on airs despite her less than ladylike situation. Stan on the other hand blushed red whether from guilt at cheating on Vivian or embarrassment from being in a compromising position. However he too managed to compose himself and blurt out, “Nicole was taking dictation.”
“And she accidentally fell on your dick?”
“Vivian please!”
“Oh yes, let’s just pretend this is normal shall we?”
“Vivian…”
“I thought you were an accountant Stan. Is this what accountants do all day?”
“No. Accountants work hard all day, Vivian. I work hard all day. It’s a very demanding job. You never understood that. But Nicole does understand that. So I will be spending a lot more time with her in the future. Vivian…I think we should break up.”
“No problem!” said Vivian through clenched teeth.
Before leaving the room, she picked up the stapler and threw it at Nicole’s face. Instinctively Nicole moved her head out of the way so that the stapler hit Stanley square in the nose.

The Other Side of the Fence

Chapter Four


Vivian lowered the gun somewhat and stared in disbelief.
“My boyfriend is a what?”
“A thief. A robber. He steals things. For money. He’s bad, bad, bad.” Said Ralph, looping the rope around his other wrist several times.
With unconcealed fury, Vivian grabbed the end of the rope and pulled with a lot of force, causing Ralph to yelp with pain.
“Hey! Don’t take it out on me! Take it out on him. He’s the one that got you into this mess.”
Threading the end of the rope through the handle of the refrigerator, Vivian said,” Sit down! There!” indicating the floor in front of the two ton geriatric fridge.
Reluctantly Ralph complied and no sooner was his ass warming the linoleum then Vivian was yanking the rope as tight as she could through the handle forcing Ralph’s arms vertically upwards until his head was crammed between his arms, his ears being crushed into his skull.
“Hey!”
“I wouldn’t struggle too much.” said Vivian, “that fridge is at least fifty years old. It weighs a ton and it’s very unstable…see?”
Leaning on it, the fridge groaned and easily rocked back and forth with the slightest pressure.
“Aaahhh!! Okay. Okay. I get it!”
“So who is Stan supposed to have robbed?”
“Bennie Testorelli.”
“Who?”
Looking at her with abject pity, Ralph said, “Ohmygod, you’re worse off than I thought.”
Grabbing her purse off the counter, Vivian tried to control her trembling lip without much success.
“You are in a world of trouble girl. You can’t go to the cops because your boyfriend will get arrested and the biggest gangster in a five hundred mile radius is after your heads. Poor little Vivian. What are you going to do?”
Shoving both Eddie and Ralph’s guns into her purse, Vivian snatched a box of granola bars and a bottle of Gatorade out of the grocery bags. Then just before leaving the room, she ran at the fridge and shoved it with all her might, causing it to teeter back and forth wildly.
“AAAAHHHH!!! I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry!!! Please make it stop!”
Ralph was still screaming when she slammed the front door behind her.

The Other Side of the Fence

Chapter Three


“You killed Eddie!!!” screamed Ralph as he vaguely pointed his gun in the woman’s direction all the while trying to judge the condition of his friend.
“He’s not dead.” Said the woman calmly, aiming Eddie’s gun at Ralph.
“How can you tell?”
“He isn’t even bleeding.”
“Something is wrong with his head…look at him!!!”
“That’s just saran wrap.”
“Saran wrap?!!”
“Yes, saran wrap.”
“What the hell is going on around here?” asked Ralph, “he’s supposed to have you tied up and near death.”
The woman shrugged and said, “Oh well.”
“No that ain’t right. It’s just not right. From now on things are changing and fast.” said Ralph, aiming his gun with more accuracy at the woman’s head, “Put the gun down.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” said the woman, taking aim at a spot between Ralph’s eyebrows.
Against his will, Ralph could feel beads of sweat start to form on his forehead. Swallowing hard he said, “Oh this is ridiculous. You ain’t going to hurt no one little girl. So just put the gun down and you won’t hurt yourself.”
“I just think I should warn you that I have just completed a course on marksmanship.”
“So what?”
“There were forty people in the class and I won the contest that was held at the end of every single class.”
“Big woop.”
“There were thirty classes.”
Ralph could feel the beads of sweat massing together to form rivulets of water running down the side of his face. His own gun was starting to feel pretty heavy by this point but the gun that she had aimed at his cranium did not appear to be wavering or shaking one bit. Ralph swallowed with difficulty.
The one and only reason that I’m not blowing her head off right now, thought Ralph, is because she has to be kept alive. Yeah that’s it…thought Ralph…my hands are tied. I can’t snuff her because she has information that we need. So I have to cooperate with her even though I could very easily take her head off.
Lowering his arms, Ralph said, “You are in BIG trouble. You have no idea who you’re dealing with.”
“You’re right…I don’t,” said the woman, throwing a skipping rope at Ralph, “tell me all about it while you tie yourself up.”
“Your boyfriend messed with the wrong people.” Said Ralph, winding the rope around one wrist.
“What in hell are you talking about?”
“Is your name Vivian Fraser?”
“Maybe.”
“Yeah maybe,” said Ralph, laughing at the way her shoulders unconsciously crept protectively up around her ears, making it perfectly clear that Ralph had met his mark.
“And your boyfriend is Stan Forman?”
“Finish tying up your wrists!!!”
“Well darling I hate to be the bearer of bad news…but your boyfriend…he’s a thief.”

The Other Side of the Fence

Chapter One

For the sixth time in ten minutes, Eddie made sure that the safety was off on his gun then he leaned back on the comfy sofa. Sinking back into the pillows, he thought, this is nice…we should interrogate everyone in a cozy apartment. No more meat lockers. No more going to the docks at 3:00 am. Just cozy apartments with comfortable chairs and one of these things, thought Eddie, poking at the tiny coffee table room deodorizer in the shape of a small plastic doggie. Whenever Eddie pressed the little dog’s nose, a fine mist of perfumed air puffed out of…
Just then Eddie heard a noise at the front door. Was it Ralph? Back with the donuts already? No it was definitely a key in the lock. Alright, thought Eddie smiling, torture time. Training his gun on the door, Eddie watched as it swung slowly inward.
The gun sights were zeroed in on her head as soon as she appeared with two overloaded grocery bags in each hand and her mail clenched between her teeth. Levelling the gun at her head and tracking her progress as she made her way across the living room to the kitchen, Eddie held his breath, anticipating the moment when he would be able to scare another pretty lady to death. And this one was certainly pretty enough. Tall, slim, long auburn hair, a cute button nose.
Any second now, thought Eddie as he watched her profile, slowly turning his upper body so that his gun sights never left her face. Any second now she’ll sense that something is wrong and she’ll look over and see me…her Fate. Eddie grinned so widely he exposed both his gold tooth and the rotting black one right next to it.
Then a millisecond later, she turned the corner and disappeared into the kitchen leaving Eddie’s mouth to gape open with surprise. Throwing his hands up in the air, Eddie shook his head with exasperation as he listened to the sounds of grocery bags being dumped on the kitchen counter with a heavy thud.
Faintly he heard her say, “Bills, bills, bills” then the sound of paper hitting wood as he watched the mail slide across the kitchen table which was in clear sight from his position on the couch.
When the sound of plastic bags crinkling reached his ears, Eddie sighed and lowered his arms back down to his side. This was not turning out how he had planned. It was going to be so perfect. He was going to be able to scare the crap out of her, make her beg and plead for her life and all the while he would be comfortably sitting on the couch. This one was going to be easy. Fun almost. But something always went wrong.
“The story of my life.” Eddie muttered as he snatched the little plastic doggie off the table top and shoved it in his pocket then wearily pushed his bulky frame up off the couch.
Walking toward the kitchen, Eddie froze to the spot when a floorboard creaked under his large frame. Holding his breath, Eddie listened intently but breathed a sigh of relief as the plastic bags continued to crinkle. The woman was still intent on unloading groceries.
Continuing on, using his tippy toes, Eddie raised his gun anticipating what to do next.
I’ll jump into the room and yell, “Freeze!” No too coppy, thought Eddie. I know, I’ll clear my throat and when she sees me, I’ll grin, just like in that movie. No, she’s making too much noise with those bloody grocery bags.
Suddenly Eddie stopped in his tracks as the perfect plan came to him. He smiled and raised his gun.
Stepping into the kitchen, Eddie asked “How you doing?” as he tried to aim the gun at the woman’s head.
Aiming however was more difficult than he had planned because something was obscuring his vision. In the two seconds that it took to realize that the obstruction was a can of peaches hurtling in his direction, they had already reached his face and put a dent in his skull. Eddie noticed the pretty pink kitchen curtains just before everything went black.

Chapter Two

The next thing that Eddie noticed was the cold. For a minute he thought he was back in the meat locker. But the meat locker had never so bright and clean and white, with sunlight shining all around him.
Blinking, Eddie tried to focus his eyes but he was having difficulty doing that. When he thought about rubbing his eyes with his hands he found he couldn’t pull his arms around to the front of his body anymore.
Anger and frustration welled up inside Eddie so of course he yelled, “What the fuc…!”
“Watch your language!” said a stern voice standing above him and to the right.
“Who the hell are you?” Eddie demanded.
“I would have thought you would have known that. Who are you? And what do you want?”
“Listen lady you got this all wrong…”
“Of course, how could I have misinterpreted a stranger with a gun in my apartment. Clearly it was all just my misunderstanding.”
“Yeah that’s right.” Said Eddie as he tried to see where the voice was coming from but for the life of him all he could see was fuzzy shapes and hazy globes of different coloured lights.
“Who are you? What do you want?”
“Listen lady, I’ll tell you everything but you have to get me to a doctor first. There is something wrong with my eyes. I think you blinded me.”
“You’re not blind. You have saran wrap wrapped around your head.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Now tell me who you are.”
“I’m not telling you nothing, you bitch. Now get me out of this.” Said Eddie, struggling against the rope that kept him tied to the radiator.
“I should also mention that I have boiled a big kettle of water and if you try to break free, I’ll pour it on you.”
“Fuck you.” Said Eddie trying to get to his feet.
Suddenly searing pain coursed through his body as the boiling hot liquid soaked into his pant leg along the right calf.
“Oh god, are you serious?” asked Eddie, tears welling up in his eyes, which only made him more angry.
“Who are you? What do you want?”
“I’ll tell you…” said Eddie, who then with a violent wrenching of his body attempted to free himself. Metal creaked as the radiator held but the wall made a groaning sound as the stud framing indicated it might be inclined to give up the ghost at some point in the future.
Boiling water landed on Eddie’s knee and started to head up his leg at a rapid rate.
“Not the boys!! Not the boys!! Okay. Okay. I’ll tell you everything you want to know. Just put the water down. Okay?”
“Who are you?”
“Put the water down and I’ll tell you everything. Okay?” said Eddie frantically trying to position his leg so as to lessen the impact of boiling water on his family jewels.
“I’m Eddie…geez don’t you have any cold water?”
Squirming in his seat, Eddie cursed as he felt the boiling hot liquid start to soak into his boxers.
But then suddenly Eddie remembered something and it brought a smile to his lips.
Ralph was due back here any minute with the donuts and judging by the creaking of the same floorboard out in the living room, Eddie knew Ralph was almost to the kitchen.
This time Eddie didn’t see the can of peaches that hit him on the head.